?

Log in

No account? Create an account
J - R.O.C.
13 November 2005 @ 10:44 pm
Calm  
What a heartwrenching day today was. I thought for a moment i would lose it.

I was ready to pull an old me, and right when i was ready to do it, I thought about it. It must be the more maturer thought out me. Cause I did the opposite, I went to Nikki & Mary's and we ate dinner together with all the kids. Then we got rid of the kids and went to the tattoo place. Naturally I would have drawn up my own, but i just went through some books and I find it funny cause lately i been talkin bout getting a "Leo" tattoo.. cause my Zodiac sign is Leo....I seen this really tight ass lion and it actually had the zodiac symbol in it soooo since we know the people at the tattoo place i got the hook up and shelled out 200 and got a BIG ass tattoo on my arm, and im already planning part two of it. Eventually i will complete a full sleeve.

Everyone said "you didnt even flinch" If anyone knows me they know what im capabale of doing, and with that said know that a TATTOO would not phase me. I just laughed for a minute. The finished product was GREAT! Im really pleased with it.

When I walked outside. I felt better I wasnt angry anymore. I think i found my gateway to not being so damn mad. When I am though, I know exactly what to do. Get a Tattoo.

I have a smile on my face so with that thought, Im going to lay down.

R.O.C.
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Dizee Rascal - Fix Up, Look Sharp
 
 
J - R.O.C.
09 November 2005 @ 03:53 pm
So i missed a few days, thats ok though. So ive had alot happen in like 3 days but shits gonna shake i know this. I guess the biggest thing is, they told me my grandma has cancer...THATS FUCKING NOT GREAT!.....Ive already lost 2 people mom, and grandpa...now i fear i will lose her to. I dont want that to happen but what can i do? I wish right about now....I was a superhero...i could save her from all this bullshit pain she has to go through.

I rolled the other day....to take my mind away from all that...I had a good time...til i got by myself and then i tripped out....Im ok though....nuthin a few old remebies couldnt cure....i cant see myself making it without her...im just not strong enough yet.....


I will be back later to write...

R.O.C.
 
 
Current Mood: gloomygloomy
Current Music: My brain talking
 
 
J - R.O.C.
03 November 2005 @ 09:01 am
I think I will have a busy day today. I have to get up and do alot of things especially paying bills. That is never fun especially since I bust my ass to make that $$. Anyways as for tonight Im not sure but a couple different options already on my brain. I could go out with geni, or maybe i repeat but this time with a few extra people. THEY AINT READY! Weener already experienced that haha.

Or I could party with Tim and the whole indiana crew get CRUNK...

Ill be back later to post...

R.O.C.
 
 
J - R.O.C.
02 November 2005 @ 12:17 pm
Whoa...last night was one if my old skool nights. Pullin old skool moves. I drove to chicago...to meet up with G... Haha funny times first parking is a bitch i hate city parking i swear. Once i finally found parking we got to her crib. She has a nice apartment and a LITTLE ass cat. I missed alot i see since ive been gone.

Anyways...we smoked...wait i mean i couldnt believe seeing G with a Bowl...packed at that...so we blazed some blunts..and we ended up watching some show called Bum fights...hahaha alll we did was fucking laugh. Then we was fuckin drinking bacardi before i knew it...we still talking its 5am and we just finishing a 5th of bacardi limon....I was DRRRRRUUUNNNK. And my crazy ass drive home...at some point and time i thought i was gonna get into an accident thats how sloppy drunk i was and G...texting me cant even form a complete word..let alone a sentence...

I miss chilling with her it reminded me of good times. Old time. Funny times. I guess we still got it in each other..and in our drunken moments we can say we are best friends...and thats how its gonna stay...4 shizzle

Gotta go pay my Phone bill...

R.O.C
 
 
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: None
 
 
J - R.O.C.
01 November 2005 @ 02:08 pm
Im on a downloading spree. Especially since i got this new computer. Computers are so freakin expensive but i guess i cant complain i have every option available. Including connecting my comcast digital cable to the damn thing. So after a few looks around i got a new P2P client...and Im off funny how the first thing that came to mind was Tekno...and Emo music...

so now im just downloading like whoaaaa...cause i can.

Oh and yesterday i fought alll day with my lady which was kinda entertaining. I find it funny til she gets all XTRA serious. She tried to throw orange pop on me...what a freaking dick dude i was on the phone with geni pretty much the whole time it was pretty funny.

Its kinda crazy cause I find myself wanting to be like the old me and be wild and just act a damn fool...but i usually dont and now i got geni..back my girl up. I assume she must like natalie since she thinks she is good for me....i think she is good for me to. cause i love her like no other. I try to think if i could ever love anyone as much as i love her...i dont think so...cause this relationship feels like the freakin number 1.

Im going to go to the city...not to go out..but to pull an old skool move....with the weener of course. I imagine Tekno...Emo...Disturbed...and some Rap...will make the ride more enjoyable. who knows maybe even a drink or two...and a blunt...for sure.

Anyways Im out....R.O.C
 
 
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: Don Omar - Reggaeton Latina (Remix feat Fat Joe)
 
 
 
J - R.O.C.
31 October 2005 @ 11:21 am
I hate falling asleep early, cause then i end up waking up way to early. Although i was completely exhausted from these past couple of days of non-stop partying. I guess at some point i had to fall out. It actually was kinda good, cause to day is Halloween I got alot to do today.

Me and the Lady are taking her niece tricj or treating. so im sure that will prove to be interesting.

The lady works tonight, so i doubt i will be seeing her tonight. I guess i should be extra nice for the time i do see her, cause later i know i will be missing her.

But on the other hand... I got a couple parties to go to. My girl Nikki and Mary are talking some crazy stuff they wanna do tonight. I have that option and i know i will def have a very big laughing experience. That will mos def call for pictures.

But I know my boy Keg's and Freeze are gonna be partying, probably out in valpo that will be fun to.

I guess when the time comes I will make a decision cause they both sound pretty decent.

I dont think I know to many people that are up this early...I need to try to go back to sleep.

R.O.C.
 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Ocean Lab - Satelite [Radio Edit]
 
 
J - R.O.C.
30 October 2005 @ 10:30 am
New starts....

Those can sometimes be so painful yet can bring relief to. For me today it brought some of both. I completely deleted every single entry in my journal. I read alot of the old entrys, there were alot of memories but I wanted to start new. So much has changed in my life, Ive changed. A new slate I think is in order.

Going through all those entrys I thought about some of those times. Alot of good ones, that dealt with me and G... We had some crazy moments we went through it all together and even fell apart. Somehow we ended up right back to being us. Guess thats why I consider her to be one of the people i could count on my hand. I guess the thing that tripped me out the most is... Out of everyone Mindi, Geni, Dale, Adrienne, Ray, Tony, and Melissa and others.. I dont talk to any of them besides Geni...

Some disappeared others I just prefer not to talk to. Yet some I even miss. I shared alot of crazy moments. Guess thats how it goes. Funny how were all growing up. Im glad but sometimes I wanna go back. Everyone has that feeling I suppose. On that note...

Guess I should go ahead to the new start.

My life has changed so much in such a short time I cant believe it. Alot for the good though. I guess my biggest impact in my life at this point is Natalie. Just saying her name in my head makes me feel an emotion i cant even describe. She came into my life and just completely rocked the shit out of it. She took me through alot in the past year and a half we been together. Some ups and downs, and I still find myself very much in love with her. She made me grow up even further, Im still growing she still is teaching me things and i imagine im teaching her a few things in the process. Im not so into myself anymore, I find myself wanting to take responsibity for the both of us, and I find myself loving her in ways i didnt think i had inside of me. I find myself crazy in love with her. I only hope Im good enough to keep her. and she continues to love me.

Other things have impacted my life to. In a sense i finally made a peace with my dad. there are rough times for sure. but I see he trys to show me he is right there with me. I guess I am still his little baby. Were not so different anymore. At times i cant stand him but i dont think i could be without him. I even connected with my lil sister, Funny how me and her are so much alike. Sometimes i feel like were really good friends. She comes and talks to me now, it means alot Im glad we got past that barrier now.

As for my attitude.. thats changed...Im pretty cocky I guess that just because of what im doing. The Game has changed me, Im seeing things doing things i never thought id be doing or saying. Even my run in with bad turned out to not be so bad after all. But Jail is no place for me....I wont let myself slip again.

Anyways I feel like talking about my night. Turned out pretty good actually. My whole crew was at my boys crib. I have good times with them. Jager is the drink if i could add up all the money we spend on jager and redbull....its in the thousands already. Its funny we are all so different yet were so alike. I didnt get home til umm 7am????? sumthin like that... Me and jiggy man stomped everyone in spades. that be our game.

Ive just spent time re-doing the whole journal. I wonder if im still good with HTML, and flash and all the stuff i used to do. Guess i gotta try. Im even gonna start drawing again

But anyways im sleepy so
 
 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: ATB - Long Way Home